I only write in this downer blog when I'm really a mess. That is why this blog sucks.

I wish I has someone to talk to... I want to die and I know someone would help me forget this crazy wish. It's too early in the morning and there is no one available. I want to be helped but now I've just fallen deeper. I have got no savior. I don't want to die :(
Lately I've been feeling like my death is around the corner but it never comes to end this pain... Or, you know, help never comes to end this pain.
I'm locked in my room. No one is allowed because it's me against the world... So... How am I going to get help? How am I going to survive my greatest enemy that sometimes is my best friend if he is stronger than ever and is the only one that can reach me? Usually he pities me and becomes my friend. Helps me get up and try and get me help, but when I'm doing he good he's the villain again.

I'm pretty sure I'm sick. Why won't anybody believe me or give me the benefit of the doubt?

If it's going to be a constant up and down, then I wish I could just break the floor and go below the ground. That would break the cycle.