I'm crying as I write this. I was ready to go to therapy and get me fixed but since the most important person to me gave me a could shoulder about it... I just died a little more. As she walked way I bled with the blade still inside of me. I didn't die because of that, I'm not going to die one day, sooner or later. I just figured I'm already dead, just wandering among the living, makes me feel even more dead, although death cannot be quantified in one person.

I'm not thinking suicide right now, I'm still enduring the pain, letting it consume me, 'till it officially kills me.

The reason why I'm still writing is because there is still a tiny light shining in amongst the darkness. I wish it would just fade... Or grow so much that I would never feel this way. I want it to end, but it's so hard to step outside.

Wasn't born for such a disgusting world, I don't belong here.

I think I'm going to die. There is no escape from my shadow, it'll find a way to take over. I'm tired of fighting for my life, no matter what anyone thinks, I'm tired and I might just surrender.

All I ever wanted was to have a voice, but my voice is so low, no one ever listens, no one ever cares, no one ever takes me serious, no one ever understands... I'm ready to give up this fight.

I wonder if they'll hear my last scream...

History Repeating

I'm haunted by regret. I should've kept going but I decided to take a different route. At least I thought it was a different route... Turns out I just came back to same shit.

I miss my friends. I miss enjoying life. I miss the new world I just turned down.

Now I'm on a downfall and I just want to hit the bottom, but hey... Winter has yet to come.

Stop whispering, asshole, just shut up!

I'm tired of your attempts to bring me back, but you just can't!

Even if I have to die, I'm not coming back to someone who does that kind of shit, after all that was said.

Can't sleep. Why? 'Cuz you're ringing in my ears and flashing before my eyes, just disappear!